February 14, 2005

The group fitness manager at one of the gyms where I teach forwarded an email several weeks ago asking for volunteers to tape a workout video for a study being done at a local school of social work. Since I will do anything to avoid the work I’m actually supposed to be doing, I emailed back and said I was interested; the next week, I went in so the people running the study could meet me and I could find out what the study was about.

It turned out that the video was going to be part of a wellness and safer-sex program aimed at HIV+ people recovering from cocaine and heroin addiction.

You can imagine that, once I found this out, I would have clawed the eyes out of anybody who tried to stop me from doing it.

So I put together a routine and some music and went to rehearse it with the people who’d be following me in the video (all of whom worked in the school office). After I ran through it once to show it to them, the head of the program complimented the routine and said she thought the study participants would enjoy it. “I’m not sure, though,” she said, “if the best music to use for an exercise program for recovering drug addicts is ‘Love Potion #9.'”

Whoops.

So I reworked the music and made some adjustments to the routine; we’re filming on Friday.

I’m going to be the Denise Austin of the drug-addict world!

I should note that the moves I sketched out are saved on my computer as a Word file called “smack routine.doc.”

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