Dear Woman Who Stormed Out of the Step Class I Was Subbing Yesterday Afternoon After I Offered You My Risers in Response to Your Request That I Speed the Music Up Even More Than I Already Had in Response to Your Previous Requests, Even Though it Was Already at a Faster Tempo Than I Feel Comfortable Teaching at and a Faster Tempo Than the Guy Who Usually Teaches the Class Teaches at and a Faster Tempo Than Step Guidelines Allow, and Even Though You Were the One Person in the Entire Class Who Was Barely Moving and Maybe If You Had Listened When I Kept Saying, “Knees Higher, Everybody!” (Although You Were the Only Person Whose Knees Weren’t High Enough and so I Was Actually Just Talking to You) You Might Have Felt Like You Were Getting Exercise Although You Were Still Sweating Up a Storm Even With the Barely Moving, and Then Came Back After Class Was Over and Yelled at Me in Front of Everybody for Having Some Nerve Embarrassing You Like That in Front of the Class and You Had a Knee Injury (Although You Didn’t Bother Telling Me That at the Beginning of Class When I Asked if Anybody Had Any Injuries I Should Know About) and My Class Was Boring (Although Everybody Else Was Very Clearly Having a Lot of Fun) and Basic (Although You Kept Missing Steps) and I was Unprofessional and Disgusting and Shouldn’t Be Teaching and a Sub and Didn’t Know My Place and Then Stormed Back Out, at Which Point Five People in the Class Told Me They’d Had a Great Time and They Had No Problem With the Tempo and They Thought You Had Been Completely Inappropriate:
Fuck you.
Very truly yours,
Faustus, M.D.
P.S.: My boyfriend, who is a psychiatrist, says you have Borderline Personality Disorder. –F
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